If Moths & Lint Balls Were Currency, My Wallet Would Be Full Of Fortune

by SJP

At this point, I’m not ready to discuss my dramatic weekend in Boston.  I know you probably stalked my facebook photos and want me to tell you all about how my drinking problem almost ruined the trip, and don’t worry I plan to share all the embarrassing details… but not right now

Right now I’m concerned about my couch.  Yes, a couch.  Don’t you remember The Couch?  Well I bought it.  And it’s coming today!  Isn’t that great?

I’m sorry, what?

Um, no, actually I don’t think it was a frivolous purchase?  Just because it  was more expensive than my life doesn’t mean I won’t be able to pay if off.  There are plenty of payment options like charging sitting fees to my guests, so I’m really not worried at all.  And it’s not like I maxed out my Visa or anything for it either I still have $5 left of credit; so I was smart about this home acquisition!

If you’re done judging me I’d like to get back to being really excited about my new black hole of debt.  As you can probably guess, this is not my first huge impulse buy, and I intend to keep that couch in immaculate condition by never sitting on it.  In fact, I think after establishing some basic household rules like no flash photography or eating, I am quite sure it’s always going to look like it just came out of Veranda Magazine.  I guess the No Eating rule kind of goes without saying since I can’t afford to eat anymore, I mean I can’t imagine there being a morsel of food anywhere near that superior upholstery let alone the entire house

 I guess now I just have to wait for the best part of this whole deal; the delivery boys.  I can hardly contain my exhilaration for the truck load of manual laborer goodness that awaits me this afternoon.  Nothing is going to please me more than seeing my beautiful couch being carried up the stairs by rugged, sweaty men.  I know you’re thinking, it’s just another Mexican delivering a couch, but for me it’s a deep appreciation for fine immigrants hauling furniture.

See?

No?

Still don’t get it?  Eh, that’s ok. We can’t all be cross eyed like me.

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