There Are Dates With “Most People” And Then There Are Dates With Sarah

by SJP

“I wanted to go to law school at Harvard because, you know, it’s Harvard…”  I noticed his slacks were pressed nicely and paired with a silk blend oxford shirt which made him dressed well enough to look at.  But he was talking quite a bit.  I could have done without all the talking.  Talking isn’t so bad I think, when I’m the one doing it, but this was not the case. Men can’t be well dressed and get away with talking about themselves but, you know I always think if a date of mine insists on doing that, dinner ought to be well worth it.  And worth it, it was when our waiter dropped a plate of lobster tail in front of me. 

 “So,” He kept going.  “I didn’t choose Harvard although it would have made my family happier since most of them reside in Connecticut which is very close…” He was looking at me to follow along with the story and I was looking at my glass of wine with regret. 

You see I wished I had ordered a glass of Champagne instead of that Pierre de la Grange.  The server told me that it’s nice to pair shell fish with a crisp white wine, one with the natural acidity to cut the taste of lobster.  So I went against my refined judgment and ordered the wine but what I really wanted to order was the Champagne.  I think it’s important to drink Champagne with everything, that way people don’t get the wrong idea about me.  Most people order wine or liquor, but I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about me and mistake me for “most people.”  So I decided I wouldn’t make a fuss and I’d suppress the sour faces and just deal with the wine, even though the wine could potentially ruin my entire dinner.

Buuuut…I ended up going to Vaaaaanderbilt.”  He was the kind of guy that changed his tone by the mood he wanted to set.  I could see by the way he swayed apprehensively and drew out the words in each part of his statement, that maybe his parents didn’t want him to go to Vanderbilt.  “You know Vandy is a good law school, people don’t give them enough credit, what do you think?”

I thought I could use more butter. I thought, how on Earth does the wait staff expect me to eat this giant lobster tail with such a small ramekin of butter?  I thought to myself that it seemed quite silly to serve such a large dish with a disproportionate amount of butter.  A girl cannot eat lobster tail dry- I may as well not even bother to eat it at all.  “Oh- excuse me!” I smiled charmingly and leaned out into the aisle getting our server’s attention. 

“It’s usually in the top 20 law schools in the US even though people are so biased about education in the SEC.  I hate how people think they are all party schools.”

“Mmmmhmmm…” I contemplated what he said but what I hated was how difficult cracking open lobster could be.  I was having a bit of trouble since eating lobster is no excuse to lose table manners, and I couldn’t get the right grip on it then whatever that sauce was got on my chiffon sleeve cuff which really upset me.  I hated having to hold the thing with both hands like a savage and I huffed and puffed while leaning back away from my plate, bracing myself for any shell chips that may fly when twisting the tail off; I really underestimated the amount of work it was to eat a crustacean. 

“I feel like you’re not really interested in this conversation…” He laughed a little saying it lightheartedly but waiting for me to disagree.

Well, I decided right then and there I wasn’t going to see him again.  That was absolutely ridiculous; I wasn’t “interested”?  He could see me struggling with my dinner when this was supposed to berelaxing, and he wasn’t even “interested” in helping me.  I gave him a tolerable hour and a half not to mention an undisclosed amount of prep time for the date and yet Ithe one accused of being “uninterested?”  Pffft!  Some dates really make a girl realize just how selfish some people can be.

About these ads