Do These Fake Eyelashes Make Me Look Fake?
I’m easily discouraged now that I’m unemployed. I do write a lot
of bull shit still, but I can feel myself slipping into a pitiful state of mind. It’s scary to think how quickly someone in my position would get depressed so I have to make extra strides to take care of myself since I value my mental health about as much as I value peanut shells.
Which is why I did myself a favor and got false eyelashes. (And you thought you had a productive day! Ha!) Although, it was sort of work in itself since there’s like, 40 different styles of eyelashes to choose from! Seriously, 40. Talk about pressure with a capital P; I stood in front of the enormous wall of synthetic black lashes a little glad I didn’t have a job. I mean, career stress on top of the stress of choosing the right eyelashes would surely have made me faint. But don’t worry… I did in fact pick out the perfect pair without collapsing. And they were just $12.00 dollars
which means I only overpaid by $11.99! They’re just magnificent aside from the glue splotches, and make my eyes look glamorous which is really important when you aren’t making any money!
So yeah, that’s why I have so much
cheap hooker sex appeal in this blog post… because I’m wearing them… right now. You’re welcome.